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Texts are rarely a great effort unless they’re in the context of an already effort filled relationship.
It’s great to get a thoughtful text from someone who is already thoughtful, that you have a great relationship with and communicate via other means.
Check on the list who is currently online and just call him using Skype, MSN, ICQ or Yahoo!
One of the most popular questions in my inbox at the moment is something along the lines of “My ex sent me a text saying Happy Holidays/Great result tonight/Did you see the snow? (or some other feeble message) – what should I respond with?” Some of you are even thinking ahead and clocking up some serious energy consumption pondering what you should respond with if you get a Happy Holidays/Christmas/New Year message. There is nothing in “Happy Holidays/Great result tonight/Did you see the snow? ” that says “I love you”, “I want to get back together with you”, “I’ve changed”, “I’m sorry” or even “I’m making a great deal of effort to show you how much I care.” If you attach any of these meanings and: 1) Start imagining your future 2) Respond back by pouring out your feelings 3) Invite them around for a shag 4) Cancel your plans or put everything on hold 5) Go into a tailspin and begin ruminating about what it all means, the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda and yada yada yada 6) Call and keep calling in the hope they’ll pick up 7) Dump your current partner 8. Likewise, if you’re the sender, you shouldn’t be expecting much either.Turn up at their home/office/place where they hang 9) Tell them all about themselves, or 10) Contact their new partner, you’ve had a seriously disproportionate response. You might think December offers up the perfect opportunity to reach out to your ex (read: attention seek but you may pitch it to yourself as being the bigger person or a ‘good’ person), but if a text is the best you can manage, it only goes to show that you’re trying to be risk averse and generate an ‘ideal’ maximum response out of a low effort.I’d also like to point out that the only men who have attempted to ‘sex text’ with me, have all been attached. I hear from people who live off a couple of calls a month and live off texts the remainder of the time, who are twitchy and waiting around for their phone to vibrate with a text, who only ‘communicate’ when it’s date/shag/lend us some money time, and who are making a mountain out of an ant hill.You might even think that texts you send are representative of a great effort – they’re just texts.